Perfect Soldier
by Lady Deathscythe
Summary: Trowa aspires to be the next David Attenborough.


_I'm rating this T just to be on the safe side, having just read the guidelines..._

**Perfect Soldier**

Mysterious Person 1: Roll the camera!

Mysterious Person 2: Quietly, weakling! He'll hear you… Okay, start talking.

Mysterious Person 3: (takes a deep breath) The _Perfect Soldier_, a species more commonly known as the 'Heero Yuy' is a strange creature, which is rarely seen in captivity. It tends to roam the wilds of the Earth and its surrounding colonies, seemingly lacking a natural habitat. It is only through very patient and careful observations that we have been able to compile this report.

The specimen we used for our observations was completely wild, unhindered in any way and left to go about its daily routines without any interference. A wild specimen was chosen in order to uphold the integrity of our findings; a tame specimen would have had too much human contact for our observations to prove truly accurate.

Mysterious Person 1: Actually, there is no tame specimen…

Mysterious Person 3: Physically, the Heero, as the subject will be referred to forthwith, is just as its scientific name would indicate. It would appear that the creature has no known weaknesses; even a broken bone is no hindrance as our specimen was observed pulling a broken femur bone back into place with its bare hands. Such strength was unprecedented by our experts, who have since become more wary when making their observations. Identifying features of the Heero include unruly dark brown hair, deep cobalt eyes and a very lithe body structure.

As well as physical observation, our team attempted to record the voice of the specimen when it conversed with other creatures found naturally in the surrounding areas. Opportunities to record these conversations are limited, as the Heero is by nature a solitary creature. Ostensibly it is completely self sufficient and therefore we were unable to collate as much data as would be satisfactory, due to the lack of conversation to study. From the little data that was collected we have learned that the Heero converses mainly through low mumbling sounds, and will only raise its voice in times of great frustration or anger.

What luck! The subject has come across another creature. I believe that it is a _Desert Noble_, or as it is more commonly known, a Quatre. Yes, it is. See the distinctive blond hair, coupled with deep blue eyes. The affinity for pink and purple clothing shows that it is a very good specimen, perfect for further research. Like the Heero, the Quatre is very rare species, but I digress.

The Quatre seems to be attempting to engage the Heero in conversation. The Heero has stopped to hear out the Quatre's words. Hm, intriguing. It is widely claimed that the Heero will not give its attention to those it believes to be weaker than itself, unless it is on the verge of hunting the unfortunate creature. Perhaps the Heero is not as antisocial as we were led to believe. The Quatre is moving away now, possibly in search of sustenance.

The diet of the Heero is largely unknown, due to lack of observation in this area. It is generally assumed that the subject feeds only when it is truly necessary for its survival as no one has as yet been able to observe the subject when implementing this menial task.

…He's moving.

Mysterious Person 2: What did you expect?

Mysterious Person 1: Want me to follow him?

Mysterious Person 2: Don't ask dumb questions.

Mysterious Person 3: We have been fortunate enough to stumble upon what I believe to be the lair of the subject. Of course, the Heero's natural habitat has yet to be confirmed, but research suggests that as the subject is nomadic, it sets up base camps at each place it comes across, only to completely destroy any traces of its presence when it decides to leave.

Mysterious Person 1: Destroy? Don't you think that's a little overdramatic?

Mysterious Person 2: I have to admit, he is very thorough when erasing the evidence.

Mysterious Person 1: Huh? What's he doing?

Mysterious Person 3: Uh…I believe that the Heero may have caught our scent… Now is probably a good time to conclude our report.

Mysterious Person 2: He's coming!

Mysterious Person 1: RUN!!

"Heero, have you seen Duo at all?" Quatre asked his friend. "I need to ask him something."

"Those three idiots, including Duo, are in the main hangar," Heero replied smugly.

"What are they doing in there?" Quatre blinked in surprise. The hangar had been sealed shut 2 months previously.

"…Hanging out."

"Heero!" Quatre said as he realised what the other meant. "Why would you do that?"

"They decided that it was a good idea to make a documentary… I was persuading them that they were wrong," Heero said, smirking.

"A documentary? Oh, so that's what they were talking about. I thought it was strange that the three of them were discussing editing the 'mating rituals' footage."

"WHAT?"

_What can I say? I was bored…_

_lady deathscythe_


End file.
